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Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Raining In My Heart

An evil named Lazy has casted a wicked spell over me. So, eventhough I have lots to share but feel so lazy to write. LOL. And there are lots of events that always take my time.
Al Fatihah to Arwah Dr Nor 'Afifah Mohd Ghazi who has left us in Ramadhan this year to meet Allah S.W.T. It is hard for me to write about it. And still shedding tears whenever I thought about it.
On that fateful day, I received call from my dad around 3 pm. Normally my family seldom called me at work unless they have urgent news. Well, it could be something trivial too but it can be counted. As I picked up the phone, fretting something bad, I heard my father said, "Na, Fifah meninggal." I could not understand at first. Did I hear it wrong? My father has to repeat again and explained she has met with accident and passed away on the spot. I was like, was she on call the night before? She must be tired. In that instant, fleeting image of her son who barely reach one year old crossed my mind. And my nephew. They will miss her. We missed her too. She was a nice person. Soft spoken and always smile. I called my sister. They were at the accident scene waiting for the ambulance to come.
I reached hospital with my uncle around 6 pm. My sister told me the body just went in for post mortem. Her younger brother was there already. My heart felt so heavy looking at my nephew's forlorn face. What could have been wrong but did not dare to ask. Until now, I never asked him about that. We only heard from the news and others on things pertaining to the accident.
Later, babysitter arrived with Mifzal. He looked so puzzled looking at our puffy face and swollen eyes. Why we did not play with him or greet him like before.
After the post mortem done, we went in to see the body. Her body is covered with white cloth except for her face. My nephew carried Mifzal to see her. I heard him say, "Umi has left us."Mifzal just stared at his mother. We have to show her face to Mifzal so he will not miss her. He has not seen her the night before because arwah on call. He must be looking forward to see her again. It is not to torture him. And arwah can see the loved ones surrounded her body. When my sister told him to kiss her, he did.
Later, right before sending arwah to the mosque for prayer, I brought Mifzal to see his mother for the last time and kissed her. But he laughed and turned away. Then, he looked back with a smile. Maybe he thought Umi just playing with him. Arwah was buried that night. There were so many people performed solat jenazah. My nephew lead the prayer and later read du'a after talkin.
Mifzal was present during the prayer and burial. He didn't cry. But when they left the cementry, he kept looking back. Maybe he wonder what is the place.
The following weeks a little bit tough for Mifzal. He could not talk yet. But he kept staring at the kitchen and upstair. Coz if Umi at home, she will be with him. If not with him, she would be either in the kitchen cleaning his bottles and prepared food for him or upstairs. Whenever he heard the footsteps outside, he looked at the door with anticipation. When the door is finally opened by someone else, he looked away. Once, he cried so hard when my sister's sister in law picked up her son. He followed and hold her dress. But then he saw her face and turned away, still crying.
Mifzal turned one year on 31 July. We have simple celebration that night. I brought birthday jellycake for him. It is priceless to see my nephew's smiling face when he saw the cake. Mifzal just wanted to play and touch the cake. Mifzal seemed to move on easily. He is a strong person like his mother.He became attached to my sister and learned many new things. Whenever he heard music, he will groove his body. He knows how to salam, play hide and seek, really active. Whenever he come up with the new things, I thought of his mother. She will be happy to see Mifzal's development.
Arwah will always be in our memory. I have a short time of knowing her. Remember my first time being introduced to her. She did not talk much but smile. Whenever I went to my sister's house, I remember her greeting. And if my sister cooked something, she would invite me to eat. And the first time she came over to my house and put Mifzal on the round sofa. Her excitement coz finally she was at my home. And the swimming pool when we bring Mifzal for swimming. I am not able to go to the pool yet.
Passing the accident spot on the way to my sister's house never fail to bring tears to my eyes. It is only 5 to 10 minutes more to reach home. But when Allah said it is time for us to meet him, then it will be. Al fatihah again to Fifah. Cik Ana feel so blessed to meet and know a fine young woman like you. Thank you for giving Mifzal. We will take care of him and raise him to be a good man as a Muslim and to the world.
Ira is getting married this Friday. If you were around, you will be happy coz thru Hafiz and you, Ira and Firdaus met. Even though the meeting was not planned by both of you but still, you are part of it. We will miss you on that day. And other days too. Looking at Mifzal is like looking at you. May Allah blessed your soul and grant you Jannah.