Al Fatihah

Dalam pukul 5 pagi. talipon berbunyi. And I can guess the news already. My uncle succumbed to lung cancer.  Arwah telah pulang ke rahmatullah di rumahnya. 

Sudah lama dia sakit di dada but the doctor could not diagnosed the actual cause. I talked to my sister-in-law. She explained sometimes, the cancer could not be detected as it is small and kinda hidden. That's what layman like could understand. Last year, barulah kami tahu rupanya, dia mengidap sakit kaser paru-paru. But it is the last stage.

Last week, my mother called, beritahu hendak visit arwah sebab conditioned worsened dan dia tak recognised people dan bercakappun tak jelas. Back from Johor, my mother beritahu dah okay semula. I dont feel right. have you ever heard people saying, sometimes orang yang sakit berat akan segar semula dan after that, mereka pergi. Seolah mereka sihat seketika untuk mengucapkan selamat tinggal. 

Anyway, I am glad I was given the opportunity to see him for the last time on last Sunday. I was in KT over the weekend and back here last night. My mother relates how he cried, asking to see my father last Friday. So, my brother drove my father there. He was so happy to see my father. And it was bad sign for me. Bukan meminta tetapi rasa tak sedap hati. 

Masa aku ziarah dia dengan another uncle on my father's side, he recognised us. Of course, the family happy as they see it as sign of recovery but at same time, I believed they have prepared for the worst. My uncle sempat pesan pada his family dan sister supaya pastikan dia tinggal di hospital supaya at least dia dapat painkiller untuk tahan sakit. I could not imagined but the pain must be worst. Tetapi yesterday, my father received call from my sister yang my uncle insisted dia nak balik ke rumah. Well, semua orang tak setuju sebab kesian sakit yang ditanggung. Kami merasa mungkin he could not think straight but inside, I strongly believed he felt he is going soon but could not relate. So, I think we should honor him and if he could not bear the pain, send him to hospital again.

As my intuition, he passed away this morning. Actually I thought dia bertahan at least another week. I baru aja cakap dengan my parents yeaterday whether doctor bagi any prediction how long dia akan bertahan. But they said no. Of course ajal maut di tangan Allah. I tak minta dia pergi but looking at his frail condition, I know he is in worst condition.

Al Fatihah. Semoga Allah merahmati rohnya dan ditempatkan bersama golongan orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh. Semoga dilapangkan kuburnya. Masih terdengar suara ayah yang dalam kesedihan dan seperti menangis semasa menyampaikan berita ini. Dia mesti dalam kesedihan. Dia anak yang sulong tetapi adek-adeknya telah ramai meninggalkannya terlebih dahulu, ya 5 orang pak cik dan mak cik aku sudah tiada but the memories linger on even though we are not that close.