Hari ni terasa sedih sangat. Really looking forward to break fast with Mr V but suddenly something coming up on his side. Sudahlah macam tu, marah-marah pula pasal tak pick up his call dan lambat angkat call. Terus tak ada selera nak makan time berbuka ni.
Kadang-kadang tak faham kenapa workload has become too much, it has changed to become a burden. So much that it becomes a nuisance to your personal life. I am tired that everything is about work. At times, I distrust his reasons, started to query his intentions and keep telling myself, no need to have someone like this in your life. But when he call late at night (sometimes, he was still at work), it makes me feel guilty. Especially when he sounds so tired. But then an evil instinct tells me maybe he is acting. Actually trust that I have towards him dissipates little by little. And that is the reason I want to break off coz I don't want the relationship that we have marred by bitter argument due to distrust. My rationale if we become friend, then I won't demand so much from him.
I guess when a guy used to pamper you so much, calling you two/three times a day and always find time for you and so on, we would kinda miss it when they stop doing it. In my case, suspicions always creep in whenever he stop doing things that he used to. At times, i feel so insecure. And I miss his attention especially when I feel down, sick etc. That's why I think it is better for us to become best friend only. But my "best friend" term is different, I still want his attention. Ah...I am so sad today.
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